The Double Dipper

  You may be wonder what in the world a Double Dipper is. Let me explain. In the world of men, a Double Dipper is a man who has to choose between two girls, but instead of completely making a choice, he dates one girl, and tries to keep the other as a best friend, and often a "plan B". You may be thinking to yourself; "No! he really cares about me, we're best friends. I can be friends with him and watch him be with another girl, I just want him to be happy." But you're wrong. Double Dippers will never let YOU be happy. They will be very happy so for the short time you convince yourself that's all you want, you will be completely content. But sooner or later, reality will hit you. This will happen in a five stage process.
  Stage one:"He will choose me eventually". In this stage you will spend days, weeks, even months, convinced that your dipper will realize the error of his ways and come crawling back to you. Get ready for the let down. The truth is, he is never coming back. He chose the other girl because he wanted the other girl! It is possible, as often happens in these types of situations, that he was always in love with the other girl and you were just a momentary distracting until she decided she wanted to be with your dipper. Once you finally realize (probably on their six month anniversary) that he is never coming back to you, you will move to stage two.
  Stage two: "I just want him to be happy". Here you will tell yourself every time you see them together, he talks about her, or you see adorable pictures of them on Facebook, that you don't care. That all you really want is for him to be happy whether it is with you or someone else. This is a lie. You don't want him to be happy with someone else because you're not happy when he's with someone else. Be honest with yourself and take a moment of selfishness to realize that wanting happiness for someone is great, but you should want happiness for yourself first and foremost. If your dipper happens to be your best friend, you're are going to have to sit and listen to him talk about her for months, even years, while you repeat the same clique phrase over and over in your head.
  Stage three: "Can't you two just get along?". There will come a day when your dipper comes to you and says, "You should spend some time with *insert stupid name here*. I know you would like her and that you two would be great friends. Please? For me? You're my best friend, and she's my girl friend, it's only right." This is what we call manipulation, on both sides. he is trying to get you and the GF to be friends so when he wants to hang out with you, she can't object because she is also friends with you. This is a secret ninja trick that dippers use to have their cake and eat it too. Becoming friends with the GF is not a bad thing but WARNING! if you go here, understand that once you get to stage five, it is going to complicate things.
  Stage four: "I'm so glad I'm over him and can move on". You will tell yourself that you are so much better now and that you can move on from your dipper because you're happy, he's happy, and now the GF is your best friend so you're happy she's happy too. But you're not happy. you still want to be with him and it sucks even more to see them together because you can't hate her anymore now that you're friends. But you convince yourself that you can be content with someone else, so you go on a couple dates. the whole time you're thinking, "Remember that time dipper and I did blank together, that was the best..." and now you've missed whatever boring story your date has been telling and you have to improvise so he doesn't think you're rude. Once you have thoroughly exhausted yourself trying to find a new guy, you are ready for the final stage.
  Stage five: "I'm done with our friendship and being used and hurt, but now I'm friends with your girl friend and don't know how to get out of this mess". Now that you finally realize that your dipper is in fact a dipper, you will want to get out of Dodge. This is the only way to stop having feelings for him and keep yourself from getting hurt. As long as a dipper can keep you in his corner he will, just in case things with the GF get rocky, or he needs a quickie one drunken night. The only escape is to go cold turkey. Tell him you can't see him again and that's it. No phone calls, no outings, no direct contact of any kind. Now if you have befriended the girl you are going to encounter some issues. Likely she will have no knowledge of your ended friendship with her man because he doesn't want to have to explain that you're no longer friends because the two of you used to make out in his car, and now she is in the way of your happiness. The only solution is to stay friends with her and try to act natural. If you're lucky you're moving out of the state in six months and you won't have to deal very long. (August come faster). And this was your daily dating advice. Dump the Dipper.