The Homestretch, Baseball Season, and Job Hunting

  As I get closer and closer to the end of one chapter of my life and the beginning of another (52 days to be precise), I can't help but look back on the last four years. If there is one thing I've learned it is that you never know as much as you think you do. In fact, I'm sure four years from now I'll be thinking, "I was so stupid four years ago, I didn't know anything." Well future me, let's hope you don't turn out to be broke, fat, and alone because in that case I'm better off without the knowledge you have.
 
  The only thing getting me through the next few months leading up to my move is baseball season. If I couldn't sit on a couch for hours and do nothing but watch a bunch of guys hit balls and run around bases, I would go crazy. Some people say Baseball is boring, I say I'd rather watch it then a bunch of guys engaging in a violent, and slightly homoerotic, battle of no wits to get a ball into an end zone, and then witnessing a stupid dance. My favorite part of Football is when they get penalties for too much ridiculous dancing. That's a great rule. I wish my friends got penalized every time they engaged in too much ridicules dancing. Alas, no such rule exists. Baseball is the sport our country was built on, no matter how much Football fans complain that Football is truly our national past time, maybe they should go back in time and talk to all the Black and Hispanic players who would have had nothing if they didn't have Baseball. Or the poor factory workers who found common ground with their rich neighbors on a Baseball diamond. It helped shaped our country. All Football does is lead to angry bar fights and DUIs that don't get paid because he's a famous Football star so we'll let it slide.
 
  Anyway, if it weren't for the Red Socks, I would be going stir crazy as I desperately search for a job. Turns out those jobs that anyone can do, people are doing them. The strangest people too. I walked into a clothing store to apply for a job, the same clothing store I almost got hired at a year earlier until they decided I was too young, and was handed an application by a very rude, very tattooed woman with artificially dark locks, and clothing that looked like nothing the store carried. This was odd to me because last time I was interviewed, they stressed the importance of wearing the latest trends. The only people who would have found this girl trendy are the girls at the goth club my sister frequents. Or maybe a dark side drag queen...but I digress. The point is, if I don't get a job soon, I'm going to have to find some slightly shadier ways to pay for tuition. I would rather not have to tell my kids I paid my way through college with the help of some gentlemen callers. Which of course is a joke. Don't call the police and tell them some random blogger is confessing to prostitution because I'm not. I'm confessing to thinking about prostitution...though I would make more money as an escort. And now I'm rambling so I think I'll draw a bath and think of creative ways of making money. Do people still buy hair?

Who ever said life was fair...oh wait

  The thing I hate most is when you know what you want, and you can't have it. I mean, I spend most of my life in indecision and I finally know what I want and I can't have it. How is that fair? Oh right, life isn't fair. If it were, the Red Soxs would win the world series and I wouldn't have to dream about eating chocolate cake with my perfect man. If life were fair, I could say I finally found my soul mate.
 
  As woman, we all have an idea of what we want in a guy. Most of the time this consists of lists that are pages long. But there is a certain point in one's life where you have to come to realization that you will probably never find someone who has all of those qualities. Some of them,maybe even most of them, but certainly not all of them. I had finally reached this point when, BAM! out of nowhere an acquaintance became a friend, became a best friend, became attractive, became my bairn. I always knew he was a great guy, but it truly takes a physical attraction to notice all of some one's qualities.
 
  I am not ashamed to admit that when all the girls were fawning over Mr. Right I was not impressed. Yes he was a sweet guy, talented, funny, but just not as impressive as they all made him out to be. Then he grew facial hair. It's superficial, I know, but it was like all of a sudden I was looking at this really attractive man. There is just something about a guy with some scruff. Anyway after that, as our friendship evolved, I started to notice all of the boxes he checked off. Funny, smart, kind, strong, sweet, complimentary, loves Jesus, helpful, hardworking, and the list goes on. As I fell deeper and deeper into feelings I didn't even let myself have, I knew it was stupid because we could never be together. There was one big thing standing in our way. Because I would rather not offend anyone, I'll refrain from true details. Let's just say he's stuck in his ways and I'm stuck in mine. As perfect as he may be, he will never date a girl who isn't his way, and I will never date a boy who is.
 
  So here we are. At the point of  a relationship where I would usually be asking, "Where do we go from here?". But since I know the answer I'm not sure what to do. I suppose I just say nothing and continue on with our not relationship as if I want nothing more then friendship. I suppose it doesn't really matter anyway. In five months I'll be in Tennessee, and what are the chances we really meet again after all? It's just too bad that I now know the perfect guy exists...sorry future boyfriend for any comparisons I may make...